Free Nunlike Reject is an anagram. It's also a place for writing, pictures, whatever comes to mind. Most of the pictures are of my native Los Angeles. I can't help it. I love it here.

Showing posts with label Childhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Childhood. Show all posts

2.11.2010

It's a different place now

I am thinking of Artesia.

Artesia, California, which is now known as “Little India” was quite a different place when I was younger. I moved to Artesia when I was 18 to kind of reconnect with my mom after a forced absence of two years. At 18, I was no longer a minor and as such was finally allowed that choice. I hadn’t lived in Artesia before then, but I had lived near by for quite a while, at least since I was 11 or 12. I had to move in with my Dad when I was 16 and he lived in Cerritos. My Mom moved to Artesia shortly after I had to move in with my Dad. I’m sure it was to be near my sister and I as well as her job at the mall. I was always in one of the two cities, Artesia and Cerritos. My junior high and high school friends lived in Artesia. I went to school in Cerritos at Juarez, Whitney and then Gahr (Go Gladiators!). I had covered every sidewalk and street in the area either on foot, on my skateboard, on my bike and later in my car. My Grandpa Jim also had a little retail shop there. My Great Uncle John lived there also in a residential facility.


Artesia is a little town in southeast L.A. County. It is surrounded on all side by the city of Cerritos, famous in my mind for the place my parent’s marriage finally dissolved, Samoan baby showers that require police intervention and the Cerritos Mall. Artesia is just another city in the suburban flatlands of the San Gabriel Valley. I detested the place as a kid, saw nothing special or interesting about it. I think I projected my personal unhappiness onto it and blamed the place. Much like the Orange County punks I knew who talked about Cypress, Buena Park and Anaheim as if the cities themselves were the source of their discontent, as if their families and personalities weren’t the reason they were miserable malcontents.


Artesia and Cerritos combined had been known as “Dairy Valley”, for very obvious reasons. Cows were everywhere I looked. And I smelled them before I saw them. Big stinking pastures full of cows, cow pies and the flies that loved them. You could get incredibly delicious milk there, but other than that, it was a little bit of country in L.A. County. L.A. County had a lot of pockets of country at one time, not so much anymore.


Artesia’s main north-south drag is Pioneer Boulevard and in particular the stretch from the 91 freeway to South Street is a city transformed from the city of my childhood. When I was younger, the Filipinos and Portuguese ruled the area closer to the freeway. By this I mean there was a Filipino restaurant, bakery and perhaps a tailor. There was also Portuguese Hall if you were in the mood for a tame bullfight, and the area I thought of as “The Portuguese Estates”; ostentatious homes plopped in the middle of a mediocre flat expanse was just off of Pioneer (as we called the Boulevard).


Further south on Pioneer, between 183rd and South streets, the Dutch presence took over. This area had yet a different kind of bakery, the Dutch bakery. It also had a feed store and furniture store. The bakery had the most delicious almond cakes I ever tasted. Thick little discs filled with almond paste and an almond half on top. My mom used to get them for my grandparents at Christmas. The feed store was the feed store, what can I say. I still have one near my home in Whittier (I think). There was also a great big feed store down the street from my Grandparent’s home in Lakewood with a giant, free-standing white rabbit on the façade of the building just beckoning passersby come and fulfill their feedy shopping needs.


Nice people that sold solid, no-nonsense stuff ran the furniture store. I remember a lot of colonial style fabrics and wood accents. You know this furniture. It lasts and lasts and your grandparents probably had some of it. You may have a green padded rocking chair inherited from one of them that is darned ugly but just too comfy to get rid of. Locals were granted credit the furniture store, even kids like me. Well not me but a high school mate. Ruben Cabrera, a boy remarkable for his decency, told the class after one of our Christmas breaks that he had bought his parents a bedroom set for Christmas. The teacher had asked us what we got for Christmas, and Ruben didn’t tell us what he got, which is all the rest of us cared about, but what he had done for his family. The teacher said, “did you get the furniture from Postma’s and when he said yes, our teacher just nodded knowingly. It was really a small community. I think Postma’s may be the last remaining Dutch business there.


Although the businesses were in pockets, the residential neighborhoods were more mixed. My mom’s neighborhood contained the cities Catholic Church. I loved to see the little Portuguese ladies waking to mass every morning, their heads covered in a lace shawls. The Dutch were most notable for their bumper stickers that said “If You Ain’t Dutch, You Ain’t Much”. Apparently they saw nothing wrong with this, much liked the “Real Men Love Jesus” stickers I was seeing a few years ago. They always made me think, so no Buddists are “real men”, no Hindus are “real men”, no Jews…, no Agnostics… you get it. The “If You Ain’t…” stickers struck me the same way. The Dutch kids went to Valley Christian; the Portuguese kids went to Artesia high school. The Dutch homes were clean and spartan. There were no nonsense affairs, no extraneous bushes or flowers, with the exception of a few bulbs. The Portuguese were much the same except that they usually had fava beans - great long things - growning in the front yard and grape arbors along the side or back of the house. For some reason, every Portuguese man I met was named Manuel. It was like the scene in Goodfellas where everyone at a wedding is introduced and there are three names used by 300 people. Oh you know what I mean.


The Artesia of my youth also housed my Grandpa Jim’s shop. We called it a shop because supposedly he was selling stuff. It was among the Dutch businesses and near by Red’s Barbershop. Grandpa bought damaged goods “off the docs”, whatever that means. He explained it to me that maybe the box was damaged, or had gotten wet in a corner, but most of the items in the lot were OK. He sold a weird assortment of things; china dolls, wall clocks and bicycles. He would take the clocks apart and try to put them back together. I really doubt that he sold anything. It may have all been a ruse to get away from my grandmother.


As I said, my Uncle John also lived there. John was the giant of my childhood. He was a huge man, retarded either since birth or from an early childhood disease. He was 6’8” and kind of scary looking. When I was a kid he lived with my Grandpa Jim and Grandma Jeanne in North Long Beach. He had a room in the garage and a visit there usually included John placing me on his shoulders and walking me around the yard. It was something, being lifted up to being 8 feet off the ground and paraded around like a float. When I think of John I mostly remember his voice, like the character in John Steinbeck’s novel made into a movie “Of Mice and Men”. John had a kind of dopey, but deep voice. And he would say,


Come on Jennifer, go for a ride


and I would say,


OK John, but don’t walk into the house, because you’ll knock my head on the door frame.


Then he would walk me into the house and knock me into the doorframe and leave me dazed, but happy.


The last time I saw Uncle John I hadn’t seen him for years. I knew he lived near by my Mom’s place, very near by, in the residential home. John took daily walks through the neighborhood that bordered his facility. I remember thinking he must have scared the neighborhood kids because he looked a little bit like Frankenstein. The last time I saw John, I was riding my skateboard through the neighborhood behind his home and he walked by me. I had probably last seen him face-to-face when I was 10 or 11; definitely when he lived with my Grandparents and at least a span of 5 years which is a long time in a kids life. And one day, I just skated by and he looked up and said, “Hi Jennifer”, and he kept walking. It was as if he saw me every day and not five years before.


I occasionally go to Artesia now, for Indian food or to get my eyebrows threaded. I have to honestly say I feel a fondness for it know that the town hardly seems to merit. It is a place I spent time. I place I spent time when I still had so many things I don’t have now – my childhood, my father, my grandparents, Uncle John, and so much time.

1.18.2010

Frank Sinatra, Mickey McDermott and Me


That’s life, that’s what people say..
You're riding high in April,
Shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune,
When I'm back on top, back on top in June.





OK, now try to replace your mental picture of The Chairman of the Board, standing on stage, arm outstretched, smiling at the audience with a little girl, in a short blonde dutch-boy hair cut, uneven bangs, a smudged face and super short mini dress in her circa 1970 bedroom.







That’s right. That kid is me (OK, it's really a kind of freaky drawing I found online, but it does look like I did) and I’m belting out “That’s Life” at the top of my lungs. I’m standing in my bedroom in Phoenix. The floor is covered in blue shag. The room contains a rough hewn homemade bunk bed that I share with my little sister and a bunch of Johnny Quest cowboy dolls and toy horses litter the floor. Strewn among them are Barbie dolls with whacked off hair and missing clothing. My favorite song, “That’s Life” is playing on what I remember to be a 4-track - not an 8-track - tape player.   The tape and player were given to me by my dad's friend Mickey McDermott.  There was only one tape for the player.  It was a Sinatra’s Greatest Hits recording, but I'm not sure which one. God I loved it with all my heart.


I said that's life, and as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks,
Stompin' on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down,
'Cause this fine ol' world it keeps spinning around



My 4-track player, with its one and only Sinatra tape, came from my dad’s bar buddy, Mickey McDermott. I called him Mickey, he called me kid. He was an ex-baseball player and an ex-coach or some such thing. His career had been in baseball, which I found extremely impressive. When I was little, I liked him because I thought he was a famous celebrity and more importantly, because he gave me stuff. He gave me a Yankees baseball cap, which I later lost or traded away. And he gave me the crazy 4-track player and tape, my first in a line of many personal music players. As I remember, the player was big with built-in speakers (or speaker) and it was already completely obsolete in 1972 when I received it.

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself, flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race.


Maybe Mikey had given me the tape and player because he hadn’t exactly picked himself up and gotten back in the race. Mickey had been some kind of baseball wunderkind. As a player he had been part of the Boston Red Sox, the Washington Senators, the New York Yankees, the Kansas City Athletics, the Detroit Tigers and the St. Louis Cardinals. Shortly before I met him his career had been in scouting and coaching and he had been with the Anaheim Angels, as they were then known. My dad told me that whenever the Angels won a game, or did something special they all received presents from the team’s owner. One of these presents was the 4-track player and the Sinatra tape. I guess a grown man can only listen to the same tape so many times and then he gets tired of it, but not a 6-year old kid. A 6-year old can listen over and over and over and over.


That's life
I tell ya, I can't deny it,
I thought of quitting baby,
But my heart just ain't gonna buy it.
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try,
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly



The Mickey McDermott that introduced me to Sinatra did not look like the young eager ball player featured in a Norman Rockwell painting “The Rookie”, which was based on Mickey making the Red Sox team, even though Rockwell used a model.   My Mickey looked and acted more like Walter Matthau from the 1976 movie The Bad News Bears. Like Coach Buttermaker, my guys face was lined, he was a bit stooped and he usually had a can of beer in his hand, Schlitz or Bud if I remember correctly. And like Buttermaker, I also don’t associate any kind of gainful employment with the man. And like the broken-down Matthau to the fresh faced Tatum O’Neal, I was referred to as kid, maybe he didn’t even know my name.








Although I grew up mostly in Southern California, my family took a detour for a few years to Arizona.  We arrived in Phoenix on my 6th birthday, which was May 20, 1971. The Phoenix I remember was sparse, open and full of tumbleweeds, big pickup trucks with gun racks, men wearing cowboy hats and bolo ties, Indians selling turquoise jewelry at roadside stops, U-Totem convenience stores and scorpions that my mom would kill by whacking with a broom. There was always a bunch of dead scorpions which lined the outside of our properties’ fence, near my playhouse, a constant reminder to keep my shoes on and not piss of my mom.


Even though mom kicked scorpion ass on a regular basis, she didn’t quite know how to dress me, or rather she lacked the will and energy to not allow me to dress myself. Maybe it was all the scorpionocide, maybe it’s because she’s not a morning person. Maybe dealing with two kids, a husband that liked to hang out in bars and collect "bar buddies" and general low level depression made her a bit inattentive. Beside Mickey and Sinatra I also associate teacher animosity with Phoenix. My first day school there featured me throwing up all over my teacher as she was running me to the bathroom after lunch. I very clearly recall my poor mom receiving a lecture from the school nurse regarding my wardrobe choice. It seems that a wool turtleneck, a wool jumper and wool knee socks were not what a child should wear in 115 degrees desert heat. “This is not San Diego Mrs. Brooks”, the nurse scolded. Boy was she right.



I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I’ve been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself laying flat on my face,
I just pick myself up and get back in the race


I think my fascination with Sinatra, ushered in by a broken-down McDermott, is emblematic of my childhood. I spent a lot of time in my room with my music, both with my sister and without her. My family was always moving; Phoenix was just one in many stops. I never had homes, or rooms, or friends for very long. There was always something better coming up, some new opportunity, some way to fall down (puking on Miss Whats-Her-Name) and then picking myself up (belting out a tune on my own, remembering the lyrics, giving it all my heart) and then moving on. Both Mickey and the 4-track had seen better days, that’s for sure, but I really did love them, even if I left them both behind later on. That’s life I guess, that’s what people say.

That's life
That's life and I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cutting out
But my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothing shakin' come this here july
I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball and die
My, My